Buzzin

Well I am really tired and I have been trying to get to sleep for an hour now but I can't cos my head is buzzin. There are so many things in there at the moment and they are all milling around fighting to be heard.

Should I rearrange the living room, when will the radiators be done, what equipment should I take to my show tomorrow, will I be able to get in touch with Thursday's host tomorrow cos I still need to know what she wants me to cook, don't forget the car tax, pay the gas bill, will my stationery arrive tomorrow in time for the show, will my new stock arrive in time for the show, should I start painting the spare room while I wait for the radiators to be done, will the desk in the kitchen fit in the spare room, should I fit the kitchen flooring before the radiators are done, should I go for an oak effect floor covering to match the table I want, when will my gardener turn up to do the garden, can I afford to have the fence done too, can I afford to have all the work done on the house, will the Aviva shares ever get high enough so I can sell them to have the roof done, will I ever get any of the rooms in the house done to my satisfaction!!!!!!

Wow!! That's only the things at the front of my brain, there is way more if you dig deeper but I'm afraid I'll never get to sleep if I do. They say that writing down the things running through your mind helps you to get to sleep, if so then hopefully this was the therapy I needed. But I think not as I am now not sleepy in the least.

It's at times like these that I regret buying a house on my onw. I am not in the least bit a DIY enthusiast or a gardening enthusiast, in fact when I look at plants they die. Because of this I have to rely on others to help out. When you are strapped for cash you also tend to rely on friends and family to help out which always means you waiting until they have the time in between their work, family and obligations to help other members of the family. This is why the list in my head relates so much to projects in the house. But when I start to have the regrets I then try to look at the other side of things. I'm 36, I own my own car, no finance, I have my house, I have no credit card debts or store card debts and I am the owner of my own destiny. I've gotta be pretty proud of what I have achieved with hard work and determination, I've also got to remember that no one else is going to get me to where I want to be so I've got to go out there and do it myself.

That's got to be enough off loading to allow me to get to sleep, surely.

Nighty, night, sleep tight.